People are in tireless pursuit of real human-human interaction. The one that satisfies their social desire and makes them feel happy and in peace. The one that leaves them with blossoming feelings rather than scars, even if invisible!
Over the past two days, I have been in contact with two people that I appreciate. Both seemed wounded by malicious behaviors. Both are sick of the “fake” and in a phase of looking for “healthy connections”. I could see in their eyes that they tried to build a bridge of trust but to no avail. The surrounding is just too toxic to be able to find the light!
Look at us now! Dislocated relationships are the highlight of this day and age. Meaningful relationships are fading away thanks to the fractured system that dictates them. Superficial talks, gossips, and destructive competitive behavior is the current trend. Feels like the “squad” in grade 3 is striving to take over the class. Right?!
Delving more into it, one could see that what rules now is numbers! How many likes on social media accounts and how many people you know make you popular. But is this true? It is no brainer that human relationships are not about numbers but rather about quality! It only takes a pair of eyes, a brain, and a kind heart to be able to tell the weed from the seed. It takes a long trail of interaction to master this skill.
Here is a personal guide that I developed over some time:
- You walk into a relationship with a clean heart and a clear mind in an attempt to make it bloom! you never have to take anyone’s words about someone else for granted. People’s experience with each other is different. Sometimes, there could be some personality clash which does not mean the other party is a ‘bad person.’
- Forgive! We are not angels nor Gods! Someone could be great person who might make a bad decision/reaction on one day. It does not mean they are fake. Give them the benefit of the doubt and talk about it in order to contain the damage.
- That being said, still you have to recognize patterns. Remember, “fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.”
- Be ware of the “energy vampires” out there who will suck your energy. Whether directly and indirectly, you are prone to be sucked into that whirl of superficiality. If you try to distance yourself, in a way of another they will try to get you closer and get you to react.
- A statement, an action, and a reaction! Should there always be a reaction? No! “Resist and carry on!”. Before it gets too far and before you react to the arrows of negativity, take a deep breath and ask yourself: “Would it matter in 5 years? If not, do not spend more than 5 min about it”.
- Be brave enough to get a permanent marker to draw your boundaries. Cut the ties if needed. Do not be hesitant.
- Let other people know you! Be in control of your circles. Be sure that you won’t be having a FOMO! In fact, you will be winning the peace of mind, time, and energy to focus on who and what needs your attention. Time is running and the day you lose, you won’t be able to gain back. So, compile all the radiance and kindness you have and be on the look-out for the true, transparent, and a lifelong healthy relationship your heart desires.
Finally, know that healthy human-human interaction is important for your wellbeing. So, my advice is to never let go of the desire to be in touch with people who fill your social tank! If you have them, invest your time (the most valuable currency you have in them). If not, have a brave soul and a heart of steel to search for. They exist but because they are precious, it takes some effort to find them, just like excavating for gem-stones! Never lose hope on that! You have the power of choice. Choose your circle carefully and remember “just like colors, some people suit you better!”
MOXIE by Maha 